You're not meant to suffer alone

Because you need other humans to heal

Recall a moment when you felt hopeless or confused.
There is a chance you felt alone in that scene
Because you are not built for that kind of emptiness.
You are not meant to suffer alone.

Humans evolved over millennia to live in community.
Your ancestors lived in tight-knit groups, dependent on each other for survival
And their nervous systems adapted to this life.
Nature has shaped you for co-operation, collaboration, and trust.

Loneliness is an evolutionary alarm: “Hey, something's wrong.”
A signal that you probably pissed off the tribe
Because social isolation used to be a death sentence.
Imagine how tolerant early humans must have been.

“Sure Gary’s an asshole, but he can build fire.”

Yes, there is power in solitude.
But when you are feeling goopy, you must find your people.
Friends, or family, or even complete strangers
It doesn’t matter too much because we are all family.

We need attunement with other humans to regulate emotions.
We co-construct meaning through shared norms and language.
This is why the deepest wounds come from rejection
Because we need other humans to heal and grow and feel OK.

With apologies to introverts, there’s a reason
That “loner” is slander and “social butterfly” is praise.
Loneliness is a malady.
People are the most potent drug there is.

Everyone you met has once felt alone.
But in the darkness of isolation there is a light
In sharing our stories, we find one another.
We illuminate the void to say, “I am here too.”