Want what sets you free
Become an archaeologist of your inner landscape
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
–Joan Rivers
There is what’s good for you, and there is what you want.
When these align, you become the river carving its own path. (You are the river and the stone.) When they diverge, you’re swimming upstream. No one is free from this struggle, but here’s one way to navigate it: want what sets you free.
It’s rarely obvious what’s truly good for you. People’ll try to tell you, but how could they know what's good for you? So you must become an archaeologist of your inner landscape. This takes years of trial (doing), error (failing), drugs (disrupting), and observation (noting).
(It goes without saying that mistakes are more than acceptable in this process. So I won’t.)
After a period of nonsense (youth), you start to make some sense. You notice the difference between what’s good for you, and what you want.
Learn to love what heals you. Not just the cures, but the medicine itself. The constraints, the friction, the “dreaded routines,” the rails you mistake for shackles. These are never what you thought you wanted. But true freedom isn't getting what you want—it’s wanting what sets you free.
Consider this subtlety: You can possess what you want, but you can only ever move toward what's good for you. The “good” isn't a destination, it’s a horizon; always visible, never quite reachable. This pursuit keeps you in motion, forever becoming.