Turn complaints into observations

You might not have beef with the universe

“We have first raised a dust and then complain we cannot see.”
–Bishop Berkeley

Complaints are a simple cocktail: Squeeze one observation about reality, add a jigger of resistance, shake with attitude, serve on ice. Complaints are fun to sip and serve, but they’re easy to overdo. Avoid a hangover by turning complaints as observations.

My friend Ryan was talking about his work and I noticed that in place of complaint (my favored mode), he opted instead for sober observation:

• The client requests are difficult to understand

• We're blocked by a lack of direction on this brief

• The client is overdue on payment

Each point, though representing real friction for him, was un-weighted by judgment. He seemed un-weighted too. It was a simpler story.

• "The production team moves slowly" is an observation.

• "I hate that the production team moves so slowly" is an observation soaked in the vinegar of attitude.

Cross-examine your resistance. You might not have beef with the universe. Those superlatives might be p…