We are family
And that is why it hurts so bad
There is hope in people, not in society, not in systems, but in you and me.
–Jiddu Krishnamurti
Every single person you know is family.
The people on other side of the restaurant, fence, or country,
They aren’t complete strangers, they are family.
We are family.
This is more than a metaphor,
We are literally cousins.
You and every “complete stranger” share a great-grandparent.
The only mystery is how many “greats.”
In 2004 mathematical modeling by a group of statisticians led by Douglas Rohde, then at MIT, indicated that our most recent common ancestor probably lived no earlier than 1400 BCE and possibly as recently 55 CE. […] Go back a bit further, and you reach a date when our family trees share not just one ancestor in common but every ancestor in common. At this date, called the genetic isopoint, the family trees of any two people on the Earth now, no matter how distantly related they seem, trace back to the same set of individuals.
–Scientific American
This won’t make Thanksgiving any easier, of course.
Could it be easier to share turkey with a random selection of people?
But your immediate family is a random selection of people,
Whom you have learned to love through trial and error.
The notion of family is a choice:
When you tell your friends you love them you are choosing your family.
So too when you choose repair over rejection,
So too when you bring your adversary closer.
The notion of family is also destiny:
If you are thinking of having children or if you just had one1
In a handful of generations a small village exists because of you.
People you will never know, or touch, or see, but they are family.
Family can frustrate you and hurt you and sadden you.
The acute sting of family comes from how much of ourselves we see in them;
When your family cuts themselves, you bleed too.
The disconnection leads to grief precisely because we are family.
So “we are family” is permission to tell anyone to go to hell, the way siblings do.
It’s also a reminder that we need to want the best for each other
The blessing of family comes from how much of ourselves we see in them.
Family can witness you, support you, and heal you in unimaginable ways.
Do not leave out the impossible idea that we are family.
We should treat each other as such.
As heartbreaking as the notion might be,
We are the only family that we’ve got.
Congratulations Slice and Max!