Misalignment will kill you

Your gut has better lawyers than your mind ever will

“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.”
Søren Kierkegaard

When your actions are contrary to your values, it produces a feeling of unease. A voice inside you that whispers “this isn't who you are.” Scientists call this misalignment cognitive dissonance, but that understates the prognosis. Living in misalignment will kill you.

(And sometimes this is what you want.)

It is a peculiar tragedy how long we languish in jobs, relationships, and situations that don't serve us. You can thank the skill called rationalization; the mind working overtime to overpower your heart and gut. The heart occasionally bends to mind's will, but your gut defends truths immune to any conscious negotiation.

The path to peace: Know your values and act only in accordance with them. Don't do what you detest. Living in misalignment is marching away from the you you are and the life you want, effectively killing your "self."

Here's where it gets fascinating.

Sometimes when the voice says "this isn't who you are," it’s because you're in the midst of growth—a transition from who you are to who you're becoming. Your values themselves are shifting. So are you acting out of alignment? Or growing into new values? How can you tell the difference?

Deep questions require deep listening. When resistance appears, instead of fighting or numbing it ask: What is the question to which I am the answer? How will you know what to do? You will choose the path more challenging in the short term.

Sometimes the voice saying "this isn't who you are" speaks truth: You are effectively killing your "self"—maybe that's exactly what needed to happen.