Secrets are like termites
You can never lie to yourself, so don't even try
“What you think is what you say
What you say is what you do
What you do becomes habit
What becomes habit becomes your character
And that becomes your future”
–Will Latif Little
To keep a secret safe for a friend is honorable, but your own secrets are pests. Even the smallest one will nibble away at the joists that keep your house upright. Secrets are like termites; keep their numbers small.
People keep secrets to maintain control. They let you act like an editor, snipping out the parts of your life that make you feel bad or look bad, or that don’t fit the story you want to tell.
But control is an illusion. You have to let life happen and it’s not always smooth.
Keeping secrets requires you to manage multiple (and sometimes contradictory) stories about reality in your head. You’re keeping “two sets of books” and this kind of complication accelerates knowledge loss.
It’s easier to be honest most of the time, but this also means being truthful with yourself.
Don’t tolerate your own excuses, don’t allow inaccurate self-talk. You can never lie to yourself, so don’t even try. If you know something’s wrong, say something. Be a defender of truth. It sounds hard, but it’s infinitely easier than loading the arms of your mind with endless plates of fabrication.
To be a creator, you must share your imperfections. (Make it edible)
To be respected, you must have a point of view. (You most definitely have a bias)
To be happy, you must do what feels right. (Be careful what you get good at)
And none of those things can happen in secret.