Don’t fake it until you make it

It’s OK to be a work in progress

“The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun.”

–Kurt Cobain

The old adage says to “fake it until you make it.” The “it” you fake is the persona you present to the world. Pretending to know what you’re doing, even when you don’t. The old adage is bad advice. When your insides are rare, don’t present as well done.

Lying to yourself about yourself triggers cognitive dissonance which is painful. You can never lie to yourself, so don't even try.

Besides, to fake pre-make is to rob yourself of the thrill of being a novice, a necessary phase of growth. You can’t be good at everything, especially at first, so enjoy the bumps along the way.

Instead of self-deception, consider some alternative, more compassionate frames. Like “Every day I'm getting a little better.” Or “Mistakes are a part of the process.” Or “It’s OK just to be OK.”

All of which to say, you are enough.

Even those standing in the “made it” circle (wherever that is),…