Guilt is a teacher

The difference between saving face and saving your soul

“Guilt is the teacher, love is the lesson.”
–Joan Borysenko

When something falls apart, the village exists to support you.
“It’s not your fault,” they’ll say, and they mean it.
They make you feel like the hero of your story.
But every story needs a bad guy and the bad guy might be you.

Don’t beat yourself up, but pinch yourself a little.
Friends help you save face, but only you can save your soul.
You must acknowledge your role in failure.
You did too much, or too little. You chose the wrong target. You held the wrong frame.

You are a work in progress
Mistakes are more than acceptable.
You grow by listening to a feeling called guilt.
Guilt is a teacher, not your enemy.

Guilt is an emotion that steers you to the universe within.
Your body’s warning that you did something out of alignment with your values.
(Because misalignment will kill you.)
Guilt keeps action and character distinct: “I did wrong, but I’m still a good person.”

Shame is different and to be avoided.
Shame fuses the feeling with who you are.
“Because I did a bad thing, I am a bad person.”
Shame chisels a mistake into stone and calls it your name.

You are not a singular idea.
Your stories do not always align and it takes figuring out.
You must bring your adversary closer.
Even when it is you.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You must find your people to help you see clearly.
But in the end, when the village quiets and the faces blur.
All that remains is you.